Over the past month, thanks to my new job, I am blessed with the honor of navigating peak hour traffic jams in Bangalore every morning. Initially it was highly frustrating, but as they say ‘time is the greatest healer’ - I began to slowly get used to sitting locked in a steel box for 60 minutes. My old habit too came back and I started observing the reactions/actions of people around me. After a few weeks of analysis below is a broad classification of people. (Disclaimer-the classification is based on behavioral traits captured as observed and perceived by the writer under certain extreme conditions. The writer will not be held responsible for any damages caused)
‘I don’t care a S@#* types’
Who are they? These are usually the bus and lorry drivers. Being in a traffic jam gives them a welcome break.
What do they do? Open a packet of Ghutka/Kaini and start chewing, light up a cigarette/beedi, yawn, scratch various parts of their body, spit out of the windows at the vehicles nearby, stretch on their small seats and generally laze around as if in a park
‘The Abusers’
Who are they? Auto rickshaw, tempo and taxi drivers
What do they do? Their only motto is to squeeze through the narrowest gaps available. Their ‘modus operandi’ - stunning the other divers through a barrage of choicest verbal abuse. I have had the extreme pleasure of taking an auto to work twice in the last month. During the 60 minute ride the average verbal abuse meted out was 18.Their vocabulary somehow seems to be infinite and if there was a Guinness record for abusing am sure these guys would win hands down.
‘The Mavericks’
Who are they? People on two wheelers (women excluded)
What do they do? They are class apart. They have the capability of slipping through traffic jams just as mud would slip through your fingers when you try to hold it. You would generally see them riding their two wheelers on footpaths, utilizing gaps between the bumpers of vehicles to squeeze through, frequently jumping signals, cutting across other vehicles, overtaking aimlessly etc. They live a dangerous life.
‘Good Samaritans’
Who are they? People who follow the rules, drive carefully and always get late to work. J
What do they do? They do nothing. They get blocked by people who don’t care a S@#*, get abused by ‘The Abusers’ and are completely outwitted by ‘The Mavericks’. They sigh and take it all with a smile.
‘The Outliers’
Who are they? Women drivers
What do they do? Park their four wheelers diagonally or horizontally in a jam to prevent others from getting past them. Mow down cyclists and pedestrians deliberately. Take off when a signal turns red. Drive in first gear in the middle of the road. Caution: Avoid them like plague. And hope one does not cross your path.
